Epilogue
by Scurvy-Monkey
Summary: Sometimes what we think will happen and what actually happened are two very different things. ZADF centric One-Shot, multiple friendships, one crack pairing. Nothing but fluffy sugar-coated sweetness.


Sometimes what we think will happen and what actually happened are two very different things.

* * *

It wasn't a shock to many when GIR 'died'. It was really less of a death than it was a 'sent to pick up some tacos and never came back.' There were always rumors surfacing of a malfunctioning SIR unit on foodcourtia, or a break in to the Irken Armada's snack storage, none confirmed. At some point Zim may have admitted to missing the little robot.

Red and Purple had self-proclaimed that they missed him the most. From his creation to disappearance, GIR had provided them with endless hours of Zim-torture. Sometimes Purple would launch a burrito into space in memory of their lost friend.

No one ever did find out what that 'G' stood for.

* * *

One of the more shocking things that concluded with our story was the fate of one Gaz Membrane, hater of all living things. With an uncanny ability to simply be the best at everything, she established herself as a doctor, helping humans (and sometimes aliens) survive for another "miserable and pointless day,"

She would have simply faded into the background if it weren't for her founding of the world's one and only Alien Communications Bureau at the young age of seventeen. Her reasoning went along the lines of "being the only person capable of managing anything without screwing up,"

Later, her brother featured a film adaptation of the group in an effort to expose aliens to the world, which was recieved as a joke. He sold the rights away and went back to pursuing Zim. The film was later released as "Men in Black,"

Dib laughed at the irony, and then got hit in the head with his sister's Gameslave.

* * *

But what happened to Zim, you ask? Well, he became the Irken Empire's most hated and loved member.

After giving up on Earth (A process that took the disappearance of GIR combined with a painful message from his tallest to get him to stop), he managed to establish a rather shaky friendship with Dib, to where they both agreed to leave each-others peoples alone. With the alliance established, Zim managed to gain a little intelligence in his spastic brain. Dib gained someone who accepted him for who he was.

Dib, in all his human goodness, felt sorry for wanting to dissect the little invader. In an effort to reconcile he offered to try and repair Zim's PAK. As it turned out, all Irken intelligence couldn't figure out that a single screw was loose (Bring a new meaning to the phrase "a few screws loose"). With the screw tightened, Zim became an all-around more likable friend. A lot more sensible, and honestly, smart. However, he was still Zim.

The still-prone-to-shouting Irken made that one very clear.

Apparently, the screw also triggered a long awaited growth spurt. The next time Zim was contacted by the tallest (they wanted to know if there was news of GIR's return), they gasped in shock at the new, very tall, Zim. Taller than them, in fact.

Reluctant, yet bound by law, the two had no choice but to place Zim in command.

Zim had been expected to destroy the universe with his newfound power, yet he managed to continue with his unpredictable nature and pulled a 180, sending the Irken Empire into a peaceful era of which no one had ever seen before.

As it turned out, nonviolent relations with other planets served as the best way to dominate the galaxy, the empire becoming a safe and equal society for all.

Of course, height still mattered to the Irkens. Change could only come a little bit at a time.

Dib, however, was proud of his friend.

* * *

On the subject of Dib, it was difficult at first for the boy to give up on hunting down aliens. With Zim's recent turn-around, inspiration and a trace of rivalry had driven him to throw his past away and pursue a real way to change the world for the better. Working with his sister, he managed to enter the politics field quite nicely. As a negotiator between alien societies, he couldn't be happier.

He also discovered it was much easier to hide aliens than it was to expose them to the less-than-intelligent masses.

It was very strange when the little alliance he made with Zim ended up as a full-blown treaty between the Irken Empire and Earth (though most of Earth wasn't aware of the empire's existence). Both parties agreed, once again, not to blow each other up, and gave Dib another meeting with an old friend. The two promised to meet up more often, to "discuss diplomatic issues,"

No one questioned the sounds of a rather loud and violent video game coming from Zim's private chambers, or the mocking laughter following the sounds of an all-too-familiar alien movie playing. It helped that Dib was also rather tall.

* * *

One story must not be ignored, and that is of the humans Ms. Bitters and Professor Membrane.

It started with the only parent-teacher conference Membrane would ever attend for either of his children, as he personally ascended the steps of Skool.

When they locked eyes, one could argue that it was a love unlike any other, full of atomic structures, toast, and doom.

Gaz immediately ran to the bathroom to puke. Dib, always slow on the romantic uptake, didn't notice a thing and only laughed at his sister.

A few weeks later, when the two announced they were now dating, Dib wasn't seen for the rest of the day. The retching sounds occasionally heard throughout the house told everyone exactly where he was.

Thankfully it was never brought up again.

Until the wedding was announced.

* * *

If you were wondering what happened to the former tallest, then let it be known that it's a bit uncertain as to what exactly happened after Zim took over. The two seemed to drift out of the spotlight, not really caring if they were famous or not. Rumors say that nothing really changed – even if they weren't the tallest, they were still taller than everyone who wasn't Zim. They continued to find amusement in the misfortunes of the shorter, except now they couldn't blow up any planets.

Red missed the lasers. Purple, on the other hand, did not.

Another rumor spoke of them enjoying a relaxing life on foodcourtia, where they lived in retirement. It took a lot to run an empire, so why not spare them a lifetime of free snacks?

A third, much less likely rumor reported that they had disappeared with a malfunctioning SIR unit, to another planet unaware of the Irken Empire.

When two earless, green, and ridiculously tall humans walked into the Alien Communications Bureau one day requesting a job, accompanied by a green dog, no one said a thing.

Zim, who happened to be paying a visit to Dib at the time for "Advice on governing the masses" (a new cheesy alien movie had just come out, and Zim brought some famous Irken popcorn), saw the scene as he was picking up drinks.

The hug he gave the little dog could only be described as heartwarming.

Red had cried. He denies it to this day.

* * *

Tak, grudgingly, found that Zim's new personality was something to be admired. It took a while for the invader to forgive Zim, yet when she moved to apologize to her new tallest, she was the one receiving the apology. From THE Zim.

Tak, from what she could see on Zim's face, was surprised he did not explode from the effort it took him to say those words.

She didn't say a thing, deciding not to push her luck.

Unfortunately, with the new peaceful era of the Irken Empire, Tak could not become an invader. She didn't seem to mind, especially since her new position as head of foreign relations earned her all the respect she ever wanted.

* * *

Without purpose, seeing as Zim had brought them the freedom they were fighting for, the RESISTY had almost disbanded.

Funny enough, Zim actually called for a meeting with them, arguing just why they should remain intact.

Lard Nar found that he liked his position as an advisor to the tallest very, very much.

* * *

Last, but certainly not least, came the fate of Sizz-Lor.

The foodcourtia manager was understandably angry, not to mention confused, when Zim's PAK data no longer registered him as a foodcourtia food drone.

Minutes later he had to be rescued from shock when Zim was now registered as the tallest. He immediately left to confront him, this time with no foodening to stop him. Lucky for Zim, Dib happened to be there to save him from assassination.

Despite the almost successful attempt on his life, he was surprisingly kind to Sizz-Lorr. Dib argued for him to be chucked out an air lock, but Zim simply couldn't. Despite Dib's remark that his screw was loose again, Zim went through with his decision to forgive Sizz-Lorr.

Then he banished him to foodcourtia. Sizz-Lorr, unlike Zim, actually upheld his banishment.

Zim sent him a cupcake basket as a thank you. He almost felt bad, but he was a bit distracted when an alien dissection scene came on.

Movie nights with Dib seemed to send him back to the days where he wanted to enslave the Earth - except he never really wanted to return to those days. He was a laughing-stock back then, a punching bag of the Empire.

Not to mention the tallest robes were surprisingly much more comfy than those of the Invaders.

* * *

End.

A/N: I, in no way own Invader Zim OR Men in Black.

Everything in this story should not be taken seriously.


End file.
